Let’s face it moms, we all have that ONE kid who insists of being the most difficult out of the bunch. Oftentimes is that “middle child” but really it can be anyone.
You know the one. The one that seems to have defied you from birth? Yeah that’s the one.
Funny, because I can look back and remember that even my labor with her was difficult! Contractions were all over the place, nothing was happening the “normal” way. My contractions were super close for awhile then they would just stop…sometimes for 15-20 mins, other times for hours. But when they hit they came 2-3 mins apart…for about 45 minutes or so.
I only went to the hospital to make sure she was okay in there since I hadn’t really felt her moving, no way did I expect to hear, “wow, you are dilated to 5 cm, we are keeping you and breaking your water!”
The whole labor had me psyched out because I was so much further than I thought but I had it in my head I had so far to go. Was too late for an epidural and by that time no drugs worked. Three hours later my precious girl was born.
She was an amazing baby. But oh yeah, nursing was tough, and she was just STUBBORN from the beginning. I remember as she became a toddler I would often be driven to tears just crying out “Why can’t you just LISTEN?!”
Well she’s going to be 16 this year and I find myself crying out the SAME thing.
As a counselor, behaviorist and mom, I have discovered a thing or two about these “Difficult Children”. Though they are stubborn, hard-headed and often EXCRUCIATINGLY rebellious, they are destined to become world-changers one day.
There is a tenacity in them that will one day be their fuel for success. I believe they have the potential to be extremely successful entrepreneurs. Because let’s face it, having a boss is NOT going to work for them.
They are EXTREMELY smart! Some call it manipulative, but hey, that kind of hustle is a gift!
Being rebellious will make them unshakeable in pursuing their dreams. There’s just something about the words, “You can’t do that.” that creates an unstoppable driving force within them, that one day WILL be used for good.
They have amazing hearts. Let’s face it, these kids often get labeled as “bad kids” but the truth is, behind all that messiness, there are some amazing, kind-hearted kids that are trying to find their way in a world that expects them to conform to something they just were not created to mold into.
It’s extremely important that these kids are shown that love is unconditional. Rather than telling them they will be stuck flipping hamburgers for a living if they don’t shape up (yes, people actually say these things), they need to be encouraged to dream, and dream big.
They need to be taught how to problem solve.
They need to things like integrity and respect to be modeled for them because their minds can’t grasp it in the midst of being yelled at or punished.
They need to be praised over and over for what they do right, rather than always pointing out what they do wrong.
Hug them often, shower them with love and affection. You will doubt yourself over and over as you raise up this Difficult Child of yours, but the most important thing to never let them or yourself doubt is the power of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
That will be the difference between raising a leader or a destroyer at the end of the day.
Choose to see the leader.